


Terrible Things

by sugawarakoushis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cancer, FORGIVE ME DAICHI, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, SO SORRY, based off 'terrible things' by mayday parade, i want to see how this turn out, im so sorry, mostly sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-23 14:19:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4880113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugawarakoushis/pseuds/sugawarakoushis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life can do terrible things</p>
            </blockquote>





	Terrible Things

 Suga had never hated his badder so much. he had never hated  _anything_ so much. He stood wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the top of the stairs, silently listening to his mother on the phone. He knew the sound of his mothers voice when she bit back tears too well, and this was that voice. 

 _This can't be about the tests._ he thought to himself,  _they were just tests, I've been free for three years._ He had to keep reminding himself of that as he sat there, listening. _I've been free for three years._

"No, he's asleep." He heard his mother say, "What? No, It can't be back." His mother began to raise her voice, dropping again as she ended the sentence. She was upset, Suga could tell by the waiver in her voice that sounded as though tears threatened to spill at any moment. She practically whispered the next part, "How long does he have?" 

Suga's mind raced. _How long does he have left._ It was back, he was so sure that everything was going great, he'd felt great, he'd been happy. Warmth welled behind Koushi's eyes and the lump in his throat made it hard to breathe as he heard his mother choke out, " _Six months?"_ That was all Koushi heard before he ran to the bathroom, just making it before he emptied his stomach into the white bowl, crying as he did so. 

 _why? WHY ME?_ He wanted to scream, he wanted to throw up again, he didn't want to live this life. He tried to remain calm, silent tears slipping from his eyes as he sputtered, coughing hard.  _Maybe they weren't talking about you Koushi._ he tried relentlessly to make himself feel better but the truth hung in the air, choking him with his every gasping breath. Suga only had six months to live.

He threw up again, throat raw and vomit tinged with the tell-tale scarlet of blood. The words echoed through his mind,  _six months._ Six months was not long enough for Suga, but he vowed to himself to do everything he'd ever wanted to do, like in some cheesy movie. Suga knew it was probably far-fetched but he didn't want to risk dying without doing some of these things.

He stood up and looked in the mirror, he had dark circles around his eyes, his nose was running and he looked like death himself. Sighing he wiped his face and brushed his teeth, every movement feeling mechanical and numb. When he walked back to his room he wrote it out:

 

Koushi's Bucket list

  * First kiss (seriously you're a third year)
  * sex (?)
  * make nationals
  * set for the team again
  * go somewhere exotic
  * confess to daichi 
  * come out to my parents
  * get hinata drunk (seriously i bet it's hilarious)
  * get kageyama and hinata together (jfc oblivious much)
  * get noya and asahi together (still oblivious)
  * confess to daichi



He sighed, there was not enough time for everything and he knew a few requests were basic and most not even about himself but, it he was going to die, he was not leaving his team around to mope and cry and be alone. 

He read through his list a fourth time, hands shaking.  _Confess to Daichi._ The request stuck out to Koushi, making his gut twist. There wasn't enough time in the world to spend with Daichi, six months would never be enough to have Daichi fall for him too. Suga knew he'd been in love with Daichi for a long time now, since before cancer had struck his small pale body. He'd wanted to confess to Daichi since he was a first year, there were a few scenarios he'd thought out that could happen if he ever did.

1) Suga loves Daichi, Daichi doesn't love Suga. The rest of their friendship is awkward and distant. Suga dies. Daichi is okay.

2)  Daichi loves Suga, Suga doesn't really love Daichi. Daichi is sobbing and his heart is broken. Suga dies with a guilty heart, Daichi cries too much at his funeral.

3) They fall in love. Suga dies, Daichi is sad and alone and he thinks he didn't do enough to help Suga. Daichi ends it all on the bathroom floor. they sport matching black suits to their funerals 

4) They fall in love. Suga gets better, they live some picture perfect happily ever after.

Suga decided that not telling him was the best and maybe if he did get better, he could tell him, he could tell everyone but for now, nobody could know. It was the same as it was before, he wanted everyone to treat him the same, no special treatment, no pity. He especially didn't want them to worry, that was the worst. If they knew the team could possibly lose their chances of heading to nationals because of it. He wanted to be strong for himself and for everyone else and he didn't want to strive off his teammates pity for him. He could do it himself. So until that point, Koushi would keep his mouth shut, his teachers and parents and doctors would know, no one else. This, he demanded. 

Koushi hadn't cried himself to sleep in so long, that night, he broke that streak.

 

####

 

That week had been the hardest week of his entire life; he'd been to the hospital thrice, heard that he was going to die, missed volleyball practice, he hadn't been sleeping or eating well and he'd been crying himself to sleep every night. He wasn't sure how the week could get any worse until across his bed his phone made a familiar twinkling sound. He opened it, wincing at the brightness in his dim room.

_Daichi~ （　‾◡‾）_

\- Suga! Have you been okay? Miss you.

 

Another one came through seconds later.

_Daichi~ （　‾◡‾）_

_-_ The team missed you too. Don't forget that i'm always here if somethings wrong, okay? Feel better soon!

 

Suga could feel a pang in his chest as he read over Daichi's text again.  _I miss you,_ He'd said.  _Daichi missed him._ Suga knew that his disappearances as of late would not had gone unnoticed, Suga hardly ever missed volleyball practice, and he'd  _never_ missed class. He typed out a response to his co-captain, guilt weighing in his every syllable.  **  
**

 

To:  _Daichi~ （　‾◡‾）_

Really sorry about that, i know I've been skipping Volleyball a lot but, everything is fine. 

 

He quickly shot out another text before Daichi could reply.

 

To:  _Daichi~ （　‾◡‾）_

I know what you're thinking, Dai. It's just stress, I'll be back and at 'em by tomorrow!! Don't worry about me. Sleep well, Dai. :)

 

He kept his phone out though, thumbing out a cheery text to the team apologizing for his recent absence. After sending he looked at the time,  _9:45 pm._

 _Well,_ he thought to himself, _I should sleep now if i want to not look like death for practice._  

 

He slept that night without crying himself to sleep, with only thoughts of Daichi and his 'I miss you.' His night was void of all dreams and nightmares, a peaceful sleep for once.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry  
> i think this will probably be around 2-4 chapters, if not i apologize and i'm sorry for putting my poor suga in pain.  
> ill try to update asap (along with tyi and my other daisuga fic)  
> as always please leave a kudos and a comment and you can always come talk to me on my other accts!!  
> twitter.com/yeamaguchi  
> yamagvchis.tumblr.com  
> \- Ris xx


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